Hey Joakim, you nailed it 100%. Nobody wants to be managed. That’s so true.
But all of us, including me, look for directions in other people along our ways. That may be leaders or colleagues, it doesn’t matter. We leave so many more traces than we will ever be aware off.
It’s funny how this small little embarrassing moment (at the time) became such a big lesson for me down the line.
Anyhow, deeply appreciated that you read and engaged. I try my very best to make people stop and think and make up their own mind. Thank you, truly!
“Most of what you give people disappears from your view. You don’t get the report.”
That landed beautifully. We tend to imagine influence as something visible and acknowledged, yet perhaps its deepest form is precisely the opposite: a sentence forgotten by the speaker but carried forward by someone else. Marc’s transformation matters; discovering that part of you travelled with him matters even more.
Quiet. Generous. Resonant. I'M SUBSCRIBING!
I write at The Reflective State—do visit sometime.
Most of what actually changes someone never gets tracked back to a source, it just becomes part of how they move through the world afterward. Forgetting the exact moment you said something formative is almost the whole point, it means it wasn't performance, it was just who you actually are. The image of someone finally filling the chair they've been sitting in says more than any of the dialogue around it.
Although I was very embarrassed at first, I will admit that later down the line I also started being happy about the whole exchange. And you probably found the reason for it… “it means it wasn’t performance, it was just who you actually are.” I can’t really say if that’s true or no but I want to believe it is.
Thank you, truly. For reading, commenting and maybe even taking something away from it.
Nice. As someone who was recently chewed up and spit out of my corporate role for org reasons not performance, I’m glad to know there are still some human values out there.
It’s beautifully written with an almost subtle depth to it that is unsuspecting until you’ve read it twice maybe even three times Will Definelty be reading more in the future so let’s connect !
Thank you, truly. That feels like one of the biggest compliments I have received yet. I love the phrasing of “subtle depth”. I don’t want to be one of those preaching people. I’d rather have readers discover their own meaning by themselves.
Thank you for sharing this. It's funny how much it stands out when somebody latches on to a thought we express without thinking. I find that those kind of thoughts are often more important than we think. Small things that add up, but seem small enough to mention offhand. Noticing those is a skill, and acting on them really shows understanding.
Us humans always look out for those big moments. The life-defining, career changing ones. We over-romanticize meaning. All the while we forget that for each of those big ones, there’s dozens of dozens of small things, most of them completely unknown and forgettable, that shape us and the people around us so much more than we think.
This got me on the line "you don't get the report." That's the part that stays with me — how much of what actually shapes people never loops back to you. You just have to keep saying the true thing and trust it lands somewhere. The chair detail bookending the piece was a quiet, well-earned touch.
Yeah, it definitely was and still is a very important lesson for me. Despite my deep embarrassment at that moment. There’s just so much we are giving to other people. So much information or love. Most of it, we - and maybe even them - don’t even recognize. And that’s totally fine.
Thank you for this beautiful essay. It made me wonder whether the lasting impact of our words depends not only on what we say, but also on the core beliefs the other person already holds about themselves. When you tell Marc, “Find a personal connection with every team member,” he hears encouragement to grow. But someone with a deeply rooted belief that they're inadequate might instead think, “So he believes I'm not good at connecting with people.” The same words, yet a completely different meaning....
This is a very new take. I wasn’t even aware. And the more I read yours the more I can see it. The same sentence, the same voice, the same delivery. And it sounds very different to different people. Thank you, truly, for reading and for adding your own take on this!
Okay, Jonas - this hit me both on a professional level as a leader and a personal level - as a human.
"Most of what you give people disappears from your view. You don't get the report."
You “water” people without knowing you're doing it.
You say something in passing - forget you ever said it - and they carry it for years.
The invisible stuff.
The conversation that felt small to you - but changed the direction for someone else entirely.
I also want to be that kind of leader. Friend. Partner.
Not someone who manages numbers and data.
Nobody wakes up thinking that they wanna be “managed”. We can manage numbers and data - we can’t manage people. We lead people.
Beautiful piece of writing.
Hey Joakim, you nailed it 100%. Nobody wants to be managed. That’s so true.
But all of us, including me, look for directions in other people along our ways. That may be leaders or colleagues, it doesn’t matter. We leave so many more traces than we will ever be aware off.
It’s funny how this small little embarrassing moment (at the time) became such a big lesson for me down the line.
Anyhow, deeply appreciated that you read and engaged. I try my very best to make people stop and think and make up their own mind. Thank you, truly!
We are speaking the completely same language, Jonas! We need directions - that’s a good one.
And I also want to thank you for a good read, that made me reflect about some of the “invisible encounters” - it increased my awareness level.
This made me pause and think of one of my TL who saw something in me before I saw it myself. Beautifully written.
I’m so happy it connected. Thank you so much for reading!
Nice. Short and impactful 👍🔥🔥Now he is sitting on high chairs how wonderful
Thank you so much for reading and engaging Roger!
All my pleasure 😊👍👍
Sometimes we need to listen to our own advice, thanks for sharing mate
Words have an impact, and this is why we need to be so careful to use them to build and guide. Not over promise, placate or avoid. Great piece. 🥰
Thank you so much Esmari for the kind words. I’m so happy you liked it!
“Most of what you give people disappears from your view. You don’t get the report.”
That landed beautifully. We tend to imagine influence as something visible and acknowledged, yet perhaps its deepest form is precisely the opposite: a sentence forgotten by the speaker but carried forward by someone else. Marc’s transformation matters; discovering that part of you travelled with him matters even more.
Quiet. Generous. Resonant. I'M SUBSCRIBING!
I write at The Reflective State—do visit sometime.
This really stayed with me. We often don’t realize the impact our words have on others.
Thank you. So happy there was something that resonated.
Most of what actually changes someone never gets tracked back to a source, it just becomes part of how they move through the world afterward. Forgetting the exact moment you said something formative is almost the whole point, it means it wasn't performance, it was just who you actually are. The image of someone finally filling the chair they've been sitting in says more than any of the dialogue around it.
Although I was very embarrassed at first, I will admit that later down the line I also started being happy about the whole exchange. And you probably found the reason for it… “it means it wasn’t performance, it was just who you actually are.” I can’t really say if that’s true or no but I want to believe it is.
Thank you, truly. For reading, commenting and maybe even taking something away from it.
Nice. As someone who was recently chewed up and spit out of my corporate role for org reasons not performance, I’m glad to know there are still some human values out there.
Thank you. I’m happy there was something that resonated.
I don’t want to overshare. If you’re curious, I wrote about some of those broken org related mess-ups as well recently in another article.
https://www.tracingscars.com/p/the-last-camera-switched-off
beautiful, keep up the creativity
Thank you, truly!
It’s a comforting feeling to know how the little things we say or give advice on can have a long-lasting impact on another. A good read
Thank you! Never underestimate how often this small moments happen, despite us not noticing at all. So many footprints we leave behind.
It’s beautifully written with an almost subtle depth to it that is unsuspecting until you’ve read it twice maybe even three times Will Definelty be reading more in the future so let’s connect !
Thank you, truly. That feels like one of the biggest compliments I have received yet. I love the phrasing of “subtle depth”. I don’t want to be one of those preaching people. I’d rather have readers discover their own meaning by themselves.
I feel like we will get along nicely ;)
Thank you for sharing this. It's funny how much it stands out when somebody latches on to a thought we express without thinking. I find that those kind of thoughts are often more important than we think. Small things that add up, but seem small enough to mention offhand. Noticing those is a skill, and acting on them really shows understanding.
Us humans always look out for those big moments. The life-defining, career changing ones. We over-romanticize meaning. All the while we forget that for each of those big ones, there’s dozens of dozens of small things, most of them completely unknown and forgettable, that shape us and the people around us so much more than we think.
This got me on the line "you don't get the report." That's the part that stays with me — how much of what actually shapes people never loops back to you. You just have to keep saying the true thing and trust it lands somewhere. The chair detail bookending the piece was a quiet, well-earned touch.
Yeah, it definitely was and still is a very important lesson for me. Despite my deep embarrassment at that moment. There’s just so much we are giving to other people. So much information or love. Most of it, we - and maybe even them - don’t even recognize. And that’s totally fine.
I really enjoyed this!
Thank you, truly!
Thank you for this beautiful essay. It made me wonder whether the lasting impact of our words depends not only on what we say, but also on the core beliefs the other person already holds about themselves. When you tell Marc, “Find a personal connection with every team member,” he hears encouragement to grow. But someone with a deeply rooted belief that they're inadequate might instead think, “So he believes I'm not good at connecting with people.” The same words, yet a completely different meaning....
This is a very new take. I wasn’t even aware. And the more I read yours the more I can see it. The same sentence, the same voice, the same delivery. And it sounds very different to different people. Thank you, truly, for reading and for adding your own take on this!