Exactly. Being right isn’t much of a challenge, you found the perfect word, it’s “easy”. Choosing difficulty takes guts instead. Thanks so much for reading and interacting!
This is such an interesting distinction, Jonas. Your boss wasn’t asking you to excuse what Rahul did or even change the decision — he was asking you to stay curious about the person after you already knew you were right. I think that’s what makes “same lie, same result, different humanity” so good. Accountability and understanding don’t have to cancel each other out. And sometimes being certain we’re right is exactly what makes us stop asking the next question.
And the very last sentence is a lesson I feel so many leaders need to learn but somehow miss out on. I was lucky to get that taught by a great guy. Not sure if I handled these things better afterwards but I definitely gave it my best.
Hi Jonas, that last line does all the work: you can be completely right about the decision and still be left holding a question you never asked. Your boss sounds like the rare kind who tells you when correct is not the same as finished. Has asking why changed how you handle these conversations since?
Definitely. Being aware is always the first step. Knowing it exists was already enough for me to keep digging deeper the next time. And I guess because I learned it the hard way, I asked genuinely. And to those genuine questions, people are responding rather openly. The start trusting a tiny bit more. And that’s all it takes.
Kudos for stopping by and commenting on my article Melanie. I highly appreciate you taking your time to read and comment. Thank you.
Being right is never really the question, but whether you are curious enough to understand the person who was wrong. That distinction between judging behaviour and understanding humanity is such a powerful one.
You absolutely nailed it. That was such a hard lesson for me to learn. People could have told me. Still, I had to really make that experience for it to really hit home.
And those receipts hit hard. That was a really painful lesson for me to learn. But then again, there’s usually not too much learning without a little (or a lot of) pain. Life huh. I guess. Yay.
This is really well done I quite enjoyed the scene about the lying it was particularly well executed you have a great eye for character dialogue I quite enjoyed reading this.
That’s too kind, thank you so much. I’m so happy to hear the dialogues worked. They are based on a real conversation and I tried to write it as it happened. But then again it happened quite a while ago and my memory… well, I tried.
Really loved this.that ending hit. being right is easy. understanding people is the hard part.
Exactly. Being right isn’t much of a challenge, you found the perfect word, it’s “easy”. Choosing difficulty takes guts instead. Thanks so much for reading and interacting!
This is such an interesting distinction, Jonas. Your boss wasn’t asking you to excuse what Rahul did or even change the decision — he was asking you to stay curious about the person after you already knew you were right. I think that’s what makes “same lie, same result, different humanity” so good. Accountability and understanding don’t have to cancel each other out. And sometimes being certain we’re right is exactly what makes us stop asking the next question.
And the very last sentence is a lesson I feel so many leaders need to learn but somehow miss out on. I was lucky to get that taught by a great guy. Not sure if I handled these things better afterwards but I definitely gave it my best.
Great piece. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. And you really have a great boss.
Thanks Jen for reading and interacting! And yes, he was. Too bad he isn't anymore. Maybe I wouldn't have quit corporate.
Good bosses are so so rare.
the bit where he says asking wouldnt have changed anything ... thats exactly where the boss gets him
And the sad/good party about all that is that it was literally me. My boss telling me. It happened. Exactly like that. A few years back.
damn jonas... knowing that actually happened to u makes that whole exchange hit differently
thank u for telling me that... and if u fancy following what i’m building with Silent Witness Press i’d love to have u there .... subscribe for free 😊
Yeah, it stuck deeply. I just could not forget that little moment.
I’ll definitely give your blog a read in a second!
Hi Jonas, that last line does all the work: you can be completely right about the decision and still be left holding a question you never asked. Your boss sounds like the rare kind who tells you when correct is not the same as finished. Has asking why changed how you handle these conversations since?
Definitely. Being aware is always the first step. Knowing it exists was already enough for me to keep digging deeper the next time. And I guess because I learned it the hard way, I asked genuinely. And to those genuine questions, people are responding rather openly. The start trusting a tiny bit more. And that’s all it takes.
Kudos for stopping by and commenting on my article Melanie. I highly appreciate you taking your time to read and comment. Thank you.
Being right is never really the question, but whether you are curious enough to understand the person who was wrong. That distinction between judging behaviour and understanding humanity is such a powerful one.
You absolutely nailed it. That was such a hard lesson for me to learn. People could have told me. Still, I had to really make that experience for it to really hit home.
I love the way you're writing the character
Hi Ria, that’s too kind. I’m so happy you checked back in, read my latest story and even dropped a comment. Thank you so much <3.
Rahul sounds like a lot like I used to be.
Bravado only gets you so far, though.
Oh well. I would want to say I have never been like that. You should have seen in my 20s though.
Maybe many of us carried a little bit of Rahul for some time of our lives.
Like you said, many of us were like Rahul at one time or another.
Some of us learn from the experience. Some don’t.
"I never asked." Neither did I. Neither did any of us who picked being right over being curious. The receipts show up later.
And those receipts hit hard. That was a really painful lesson for me to learn. But then again, there’s usually not too much learning without a little (or a lot of) pain. Life huh. I guess. Yay.
This is really well done I quite enjoyed the scene about the lying it was particularly well executed you have a great eye for character dialogue I quite enjoyed reading this.
That’s too kind, thank you so much. I’m so happy to hear the dialogues worked. They are based on a real conversation and I tried to write it as it happened. But then again it happened quite a while ago and my memory… well, I tried.