Exactly. Being right isn’t much of a challenge, you found the perfect word, it’s “easy”. Choosing difficulty takes guts instead. Thanks so much for reading and interacting!
The uncomfortable truth most leaders skip: Rahul's behavior was a symptom, not the disease.
Yes, lying is a red flag. No debate there. But before we applaud the "tough but fair" decision, let's ask the questions the manager never did:
Was the training genuinely valuable, or just a compliance checkbox everyone secretly clicks through? Did Rahul feel safe enough to say "this isn't relevant to my role"? Or had the culture already taught him that honesty costs more than deception?
Firing Rahul solved the symptom. It didn't fix the system that made lying feel like the rational choice for a talented new hire in his first few weeks.
The best leaders don't just ask "What did you do?" — they ask "What made you feel this was your best option?"
Accountability without curiosity isn't leadership. It's just enforcement. 🎯
If you like, we can subscribe to each other. I'm looking to network. ❤️
Thank you, truly. I’m so happy that “worked” because that was exactly the meta theme of the whole story. Judging without understanding or listening quietly without judging to understand. There’s no right or wrong at all!
An eomtionally painful lesson for me to learn when I became a manager back then. But very much needed! Real leadership is human. Your comment nails that perfectly.
“I’m obviously a sadist. I knew. Still let him spin up another lie to justify the previous ones. The way out was still there though.” I struggle with this lol
I enjoyed reading until the end. I can relate to what I restacked. I don’t like asking questions - maybe one day I will
That’s too kind Arys. First and foremost, I’m writing honestly and real. And that results in greyness. Sometimes, I’m right. Sometimes, I’m wrong. I’m a person with values. I’m making decisions. I try my best. But often enough I’m still failing. Back then, I definitely did not care about other people as much as I should have. It still feels hard, to dig deeper and ask those questions. I’ll admit that I still don’t like it as well. But I know it makes a difference. All the best! And thank you again so much for gifting your time!
First of all damn, you’re a really good storyteller. I could genuinely picture the whole thing as I was reading it. It felt very cinematic without you having to over explain anything.
And I really liked where you took it at the end. At first I thought the point was going to be something like “sometimes give people the benefit of the doubt” but I think it’s actually more nuanced than that. You can be completely right about someone’s behavior and not really understand the person behind it.
By “understanding” I don’t mean excusing. You can understand why someone did something without it ever changing your final decision.
But I guess trying to understand is its own form of art, especially when it’s easier to resort to “but I was right”.
And now imagine me. An extremely efficient and logically person that has been used to “being right” for most of his life. I just get stuff done. Fast. Efficient. Learning this, that there’s more to people, even if it doesn’t change anything, that was hard. And extremely important.
Thank you so much for the detailed comment and the nice words. I’m so happy you touched on the atmospheric and cinematic part. I care about that a lot. If a story does not draw you in, you won’t really feel it. You’ll just read it and logically think it. But feeling requires being pulled in deep. I’m all smiles right now while typing this response, thank you!!!
I’m really happy my comment made you smile!And I can definitely relate to what you’re describing. I think resorting to logic isn’t always just because it’s more straightforward or efficient. Sometimes it feels safer too. Logic gives you something solid to hold onto, while trying to understand people means stepping into a much messier and less predictable space.
I’m so happy you felt like it’s “eye opening”. I dislike a lot of leadership material that just tells you, from like top to bottom: “This is it. Do this. Do not do this.” I want people to experience leadership by reading, to feel its consequences because I believe that has way more impact and leaves more knowledge behind.
This is such an interesting distinction, Jonas. Your boss wasn’t asking you to excuse what Rahul did or even change the decision — he was asking you to stay curious about the person after you already knew you were right. I think that’s what makes “same lie, same result, different humanity” so good. Accountability and understanding don’t have to cancel each other out. And sometimes being certain we’re right is exactly what makes us stop asking the next question.
And the very last sentence is a lesson I feel so many leaders need to learn but somehow miss out on. I was lucky to get that taught by a great guy. Not sure if I handled these things better afterwards but I definitely gave it my best.
Hi Jonas, that last line does all the work: you can be completely right about the decision and still be left holding a question you never asked. Your boss sounds like the rare kind who tells you when correct is not the same as finished. Has asking why changed how you handle these conversations since?
Definitely. Being aware is always the first step. Knowing it exists was already enough for me to keep digging deeper the next time. And I guess because I learned it the hard way, I asked genuinely. And to those genuine questions, people are responding rather openly. The start trusting a tiny bit more. And that’s all it takes.
Kudos for stopping by and commenting on my article Melanie. I highly appreciate you taking your time to read and comment. Thank you.
Being right is never really the question, but whether you are curious enough to understand the person who was wrong. That distinction between judging behaviour and understanding humanity is such a powerful one.
You absolutely nailed it. That was such a hard lesson for me to learn. People could have told me. Still, I had to really make that experience for it to really hit home.
And those receipts hit hard. That was a really painful lesson for me to learn. But then again, there’s usually not too much learning without a little (or a lot of) pain. Life huh. I guess. Yay.
This is really well done I quite enjoyed the scene about the lying it was particularly well executed you have a great eye for character dialogue I quite enjoyed reading this.
That’s too kind, thank you so much. I’m so happy to hear the dialogues worked. They are based on a real conversation and I tried to write it as it happened. But then again it happened quite a while ago and my memory… well, I tried.
Really loved this.that ending hit. being right is easy. understanding people is the hard part.
Exactly. Being right isn’t much of a challenge, you found the perfect word, it’s “easy”. Choosing difficulty takes guts instead. Thanks so much for reading and interacting!
The uncomfortable truth most leaders skip: Rahul's behavior was a symptom, not the disease.
Yes, lying is a red flag. No debate there. But before we applaud the "tough but fair" decision, let's ask the questions the manager never did:
Was the training genuinely valuable, or just a compliance checkbox everyone secretly clicks through? Did Rahul feel safe enough to say "this isn't relevant to my role"? Or had the culture already taught him that honesty costs more than deception?
Firing Rahul solved the symptom. It didn't fix the system that made lying feel like the rational choice for a talented new hire in his first few weeks.
The best leaders don't just ask "What did you do?" — they ask "What made you feel this was your best option?"
Accountability without curiosity isn't leadership. It's just enforcement. 🎯
If you like, we can subscribe to each other. I'm looking to network. ❤️
There’s a very valuable sentence in there: “Had culture already taught him that honesty costs more than deception.”
That I will never know now. That’s the hard and painful thing about it all.
Thank you so much for taking your time and reading and commenting. Very much appreciated!
It makes me proud.
That line about being right while still missing the humanity underneath really hit.
Thank you, truly. I’m so happy that “worked” because that was exactly the meta theme of the whole story. Judging without understanding or listening quietly without judging to understand. There’s no right or wrong at all!
That really captures how easily certainty can become a barrier to actually understanding someone.
And all that certainty just came off me judging too fast.
Really liked the story. Sometimes leadership begins where the verdict ends.
An eomtionally painful lesson for me to learn when I became a manager back then. But very much needed! Real leadership is human. Your comment nails that perfectly.
“I’m obviously a sadist. I knew. Still let him spin up another lie to justify the previous ones. The way out was still there though.” I struggle with this lol
I enjoyed reading until the end. I can relate to what I restacked. I don’t like asking questions - maybe one day I will
That’s too kind Arys. First and foremost, I’m writing honestly and real. And that results in greyness. Sometimes, I’m right. Sometimes, I’m wrong. I’m a person with values. I’m making decisions. I try my best. But often enough I’m still failing. Back then, I definitely did not care about other people as much as I should have. It still feels hard, to dig deeper and ask those questions. I’ll admit that I still don’t like it as well. But I know it makes a difference. All the best! And thank you again so much for gifting your time!
First of all damn, you’re a really good storyteller. I could genuinely picture the whole thing as I was reading it. It felt very cinematic without you having to over explain anything.
And I really liked where you took it at the end. At first I thought the point was going to be something like “sometimes give people the benefit of the doubt” but I think it’s actually more nuanced than that. You can be completely right about someone’s behavior and not really understand the person behind it.
By “understanding” I don’t mean excusing. You can understand why someone did something without it ever changing your final decision.
But I guess trying to understand is its own form of art, especially when it’s easier to resort to “but I was right”.
And now imagine me. An extremely efficient and logically person that has been used to “being right” for most of his life. I just get stuff done. Fast. Efficient. Learning this, that there’s more to people, even if it doesn’t change anything, that was hard. And extremely important.
Thank you so much for the detailed comment and the nice words. I’m so happy you touched on the atmospheric and cinematic part. I care about that a lot. If a story does not draw you in, you won’t really feel it. You’ll just read it and logically think it. But feeling requires being pulled in deep. I’m all smiles right now while typing this response, thank you!!!
I’m really happy my comment made you smile!And I can definitely relate to what you’re describing. I think resorting to logic isn’t always just because it’s more straightforward or efficient. Sometimes it feels safer too. Logic gives you something solid to hold onto, while trying to understand people means stepping into a much messier and less predictable space.
Absolutely. The good, or the bad thing is, going into that mess is usually very well worth it!
really like the way you portrayed the important part of leadership in such a short narrative, very eye opening.
I’m so happy you felt like it’s “eye opening”. I dislike a lot of leadership material that just tells you, from like top to bottom: “This is it. Do this. Do not do this.” I want people to experience leadership by reading, to feel its consequences because I believe that has way more impact and leaves more knowledge behind.
This is such an interesting distinction, Jonas. Your boss wasn’t asking you to excuse what Rahul did or even change the decision — he was asking you to stay curious about the person after you already knew you were right. I think that’s what makes “same lie, same result, different humanity” so good. Accountability and understanding don’t have to cancel each other out. And sometimes being certain we’re right is exactly what makes us stop asking the next question.
And the very last sentence is a lesson I feel so many leaders need to learn but somehow miss out on. I was lucky to get that taught by a great guy. Not sure if I handled these things better afterwards but I definitely gave it my best.
Great piece. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. And you really have a great boss.
Thanks Jen for reading and interacting! And yes, he was. Too bad he isn't anymore. Maybe I wouldn't have quit corporate.
Good bosses are so so rare.
the bit where he says asking wouldnt have changed anything ... thats exactly where the boss gets him
And the sad/good party about all that is that it was literally me. My boss telling me. It happened. Exactly like that. A few years back.
damn jonas... knowing that actually happened to u makes that whole exchange hit differently
thank u for telling me that... and if u fancy following what i’m building with Silent Witness Press i’d love to have u there .... subscribe for free 😊
Yeah, it stuck deeply. I just could not forget that little moment.
I’ll definitely give your blog a read in a second!
Hi Jonas, that last line does all the work: you can be completely right about the decision and still be left holding a question you never asked. Your boss sounds like the rare kind who tells you when correct is not the same as finished. Has asking why changed how you handle these conversations since?
Definitely. Being aware is always the first step. Knowing it exists was already enough for me to keep digging deeper the next time. And I guess because I learned it the hard way, I asked genuinely. And to those genuine questions, people are responding rather openly. The start trusting a tiny bit more. And that’s all it takes.
Kudos for stopping by and commenting on my article Melanie. I highly appreciate you taking your time to read and comment. Thank you.
Being right is never really the question, but whether you are curious enough to understand the person who was wrong. That distinction between judging behaviour and understanding humanity is such a powerful one.
You absolutely nailed it. That was such a hard lesson for me to learn. People could have told me. Still, I had to really make that experience for it to really hit home.
I love the way you're writing the character
Hi Ria, that’s too kind. I’m so happy you checked back in, read my latest story and even dropped a comment. Thank you so much <3.
Rahul sounds like a lot like I used to be.
Bravado only gets you so far, though.
Oh well. I would want to say I have never been like that. You should have seen in my 20s though.
Maybe many of us carried a little bit of Rahul for some time of our lives.
Like you said, many of us were like Rahul at one time or another.
Some of us learn from the experience. Some don’t.
"I never asked." Neither did I. Neither did any of us who picked being right over being curious. The receipts show up later.
And those receipts hit hard. That was a really painful lesson for me to learn. But then again, there’s usually not too much learning without a little (or a lot of) pain. Life huh. I guess. Yay.
This is really well done I quite enjoyed the scene about the lying it was particularly well executed you have a great eye for character dialogue I quite enjoyed reading this.
That’s too kind, thank you so much. I’m so happy to hear the dialogues worked. They are based on a real conversation and I tried to write it as it happened. But then again it happened quite a while ago and my memory… well, I tried.